Battle for IncarnationApril 15, 2017
Breaking into Paper ParadiseApril 19, 2017
am on a square somewhere in a city and by the look of it I assume it must be in either Spain or Italy. It is the end of a summer's day and the afternoon sun makes the surrounding buildings glow in the warm light. It is crowded, there are children playing, people sitting on benches, a street vendor tries to sell his ware and tourists stop to have a look at the work of a painter who is taking someone's portrait. The whole scene has a lovely charm to it, as is typical of mediterranean summers. I am at the middle of the square and unfold my blanket. Then I take off my shoes, step onto the blanket and close my eyes. I take a few deep breaths and begin a series of body stretches. I effortlessly fold my legs and arms into complex poses. The busy square doesn't distract me and I even like the dynamic around me. I use it to deepen my focus. My performance is quite acrobatic and by the time I am done I realise it caught the attention of several bystanders.
I don't mind the attention and close my eyes focussing again on my breathing. I let go of everything around me and the sounds of the square fade away. I am in a state of deep peace, feeling rooted and centred. It is an amazing feeling of total acceptance and awareness. I feel grateful for being alive and for this very moment. I exhale fully and I hear the soft sound of a violin starting to play. It's an enchanting tune and the melody really touches me. It resonates the feeling of the moment. A wave of energy comes rushing through my spine making every cell in my body vibrate and then, it is as if time stops.
The melody: “Grace” by Secret Garden
With my eyes closed I stand on the blanket and the world around me has melted into one ongoing stream of waves. Inside me I feel the energy even more increasing and it is as if it starts to dance with the surrounding hum like a magnetic field. Then I slowly balance on one foot, lifting the other and placing it into my hip. I stand on my toes and then very gently, I lift up my second foot as well and cross it over the other leg. There I am in cross legged sitting position, at about eighty centimetres from the ground. Floating, hovering without any support. It feels like lightning is shooting through me in slow motion, subtle but incredibly strong. I feel being in between gigantic forces that push and pull against one another like a giant swing. And I am able to successfully keep myself there where the swing is at its highest point, that exactly turning point of zero gravity. To be able to pull this off I do something rather paradoxical; I am contracting all my muscles but at the same time I keep my entire body in a state of deep relaxation, both extremes at once. I am in total acceptance of the here and now. Although this may seem to be something passive, it very much isn’t. It is a state of active acknowledgement of all that is.
I get distracted by something touching my but. I look to my side to see what it was to find several bills of money sticking out from the back pocket of my trousers. By then I also notice that some more bills and coins were put in front of me on the blanket. I try to regain my focus but realise that a number of people has gathered around me. While still hovering above the ground I close my eyes again for a moment and lower a bit almost touching the ground but then I slowly rise again. At my right I hear two people approaching and even without looking I know what they are doing. They are testing, moving their arms around and underneath me trying to find some kind of hidden support system that is lifting me up. I can’t blame them. If I were them I’d probably also want to check it out. They probably think it’s a trick like the popular street act where a man dressed up in Eastern clothing appears to be floating, holding on to nothing but his walking stick. The stick is of course the clue that on the floor, hidden under his blanket there is a metal plateau to which the stick is attached and beneath the actor’s hand, through his sleeve, runs a construction that leads all the way to a little seat, sophisticatedly hidden away in the pants of the alleged levitating artist.
Well, no tricks with me, no stick keeping me up. I am the real deal. But to achieve this extraordinary act isn’t at all easy. It requires tremendous focus and inner balance of my mind and emotions. The slightest disturbance could pull me out of the central point of alignment. Then the silence returns and again I hear that special melody. With every breath and every swirl of the violin I feel rising up higher. The higher I get the more I feel something expanding inside me and reaching outwards. It feels amazing however I can’t let go of my focus as with the altitude the delicate point of balance narrows. I open my eyes and although I am not consciously looking, I see I am floating between the roofs of the buildings.
A shiver whispers through my nervous system. I can almost see beyond the buildings when a breeze of air blows against the left side of my face. My senses are so open that the little gasp of wind really hits me. In an attempt to remain centred I try to accept the wind and welcome it as part of the experience. Resistance would almost certainly mean a sudden drop. I maintain height but the wind starts to push me aside. Luckily the ground below has differences in height and I slowly float towards a higher part of the square and eventually find myself again at a meter above the ground. But by now the whole experience has claimed its toll on my energy level and I start to feel lightheaded. There it is again, the sound of the violin, followed by several other instruments. I can hardly stay conscious as the music takes me away, away from the square and then all dissolves.
When I woke up, I could still feel the energy echoing through my body, still waving through my nervous system and the physical sensation was extraordinary, so powerful. I never felt this before, at least not this strong. I knew it though, but merely as a fascinating concept or through intense emotions of euphoria. This time it stayed with me so clearly, so very embodied.
This wasn't the first time that my subconscious lifted me off the ground and lately I have been having flashbacks from a dream I had several times when I was a kid. If it wasn't for this recent experience, I probably wouldn't have remembered it. In those dreams I would get out of the house at night and walk barefoot out onto the street. For a moment I then stood there looking at all the dark houses and notice the silence as everyone was fast asleep. The air was exceptionally moist and heavy fog clouds hung low overhead. Then I jumped and launched myself high up in the air. Effortlessly I went so high that I disappeared into the clouds. In there I hardly knew up from down feeling the wet air sliding against my skin. A second later I made it through the clouds and up there all was so incredibly clear, I saw stars spread all across the night sky. At high speed I kept shooting up higher and higher. All the way to where the stars started to shine exceptionally bright. Each time the dream ended where I slowed down and found myself floating amongst meteorites and stars.
Although my recent nighttime travels don't take me up that high as then, now to even hover at a meter from the ground was such a special experience. And in essence it felt the same. There might be more to this matter because once on a summer night back when I was around seven years old, my mom saw the front door of the house was left open. She went out and found me in my pyjamas walking in the street hand in hand with an unknown man. Apparently the man had found me standing in the middle of the street and was trying to find out how I got there. The man explained it to my mom and she then guided me back into the house. We lived in a very safe and calm street though, so there wasn't any danger. I don't remember any of this consciously though as seemingly it was an episode of sleep walking. Although given these dreams, one might wonder what I was really doing out there in the night.