ll day through most of us hear and tell themselves all sorts of stories on how things and should be, on how situations, and the behaviour of others would be optimal. Me included. There's countless elaborate guidelines that prescribe how we should show up in every situations, where we are with our colleagues, family and friends, as well as when we finally are by ourselves for a bit. All these stories and guidelines don't allow for the whole of reality to be welcomed but much of it is almost instantly refused and reframed. This is happening within us as well, with how we treat ourselves. It’s how we actually cut off parts of ourself. The results can be found around us and within us.
When being honest, it becomes clear we are often frightened to face and feel what's going on, or what’s alive in others or ourselves. So then we respond to it with surface responses, ship it off with stereotypical advices, or devalue it with a mocking jokes.
At times all this becomes too much. We can’t keep all the stories straight and every new moment seems nothing but discouragement, disappointment, and more trials. The overwhelm causes our “survival scanner” to go in overdrive. If this lasts long enough, our abilities to focus and distinguish thoughts, feelings and sensations deteriorate and begin to shut down. If we don’t get a relief from all this increasing pressure, our scattered mind then launches us into “panic mode”. (Read: overdose of overwhelm). And there is no nice way to put it… Damn, those moments are a waking hell indeed. It can feel like the world’s ending…
Well a panic attack might actually signal the end of a world... Your inner and therefor outer world. It might be the indication that we’ve arrived at a crucial crisis point. Ass soon as we get some relief from this, we are likely to fallback in the very same old suffocating patterns. But if we go deep enough, there is a point of no return from whereon it's the question: What will I choose to think, do, say, differently from here on?
When it comes to pivotal moments of personal crisis and transformation we will get stripped down to our bare core and then only, all alone, we can step through that door.
We will leave behind support and safety on this side but once we step through, even more real; those things will be there too.
Practice: “Pace is Peace”
See if you can notice when something comes your way that feels uncomfortable or challenging. Can you resist it a little less? Try replacing old judgements for curiosity and humility. Take it one breath and one step at a times. Slow down a bit or try speeding up(!) and see; there is a tempo to your natural flow.
Hè jammer... Dit verhaal is nog niet beschikbaar in het Nederlands, maar diverse andere al wel.